Innalillahiwainnailairaajiuun..
Deg! It was surprised, so bad surprised. I do remember more than a year ago when I joined the 3rd selection of AFS, Carlos' father was sick. And several moths after that, there were news that Carlos' father got sick again and again. We helped him through his hard times. And now, when he is in USA, there was a news that his father has passed away. I was speechless at first, I didn't know what to say, I can't imagine how Carlos feels there. He can't go back to Indonesia now of course. I was afraid, afraid of lossing my parents later. Afraid I can't accompany my parents to their last place in this world. Astagfirullah..
I thought it was a warning from Allah for me. Last time I wanted to continue my education to NTU Singapore, or if I can't pass the entrance exam, I wanted to take FTTM ITB, whereas my parents didn't 100% support me. I didn.t think how I live there, how my parents' condition in Pasuruan when I'm there, my financial there, my worship and also my assosiation especially. I was so selfish that I didn't think all of that. Until my elder uncle visited my house several weeks ago. He advised me about everything. One of his words I do still really remember is "Kamu berdosa kalau membuat orang tuamu gelisah" ("You get sin when you make your parents anxious of you"). It was like there was something stop my heart for a second at that time. I can't say anything else about it, cause you must be known what I felt at that time, right?
Well, I tried to think and think again about my next education then. So hard you know. when I looked for another alternatives of university and faculty, most of them weren't permitted by my parents. My father ever laughed at 2 of my choice that I wasn't proper to enter it. Huft, till more than a week ago I felt like I was in my 'lowest point'. Yeah, I felt like a person who didn't have passion in her life, lost my spirits, ah so it was like 'mati rasa'. But fortunatelly I have a lot of friends that were still care about me. They supported me to come back to my 'normal life', gave suggestion about faculties that maybe proper with me. And Alhamdulillah, I felt better after that. I had 2 faculties alternatives. But still my first choice was FTTM ITB.
And until 2 days ago I got news about 'that', I don't know it was a warning from Allah to me to have my next education just in Surabaya, or it was just my feeling. Cause if I still choose ITB, I'm afraid I will have similiar experience with Carlos, I'm afraid I will more concern my education rather than my parents. I'm afraid, yeah I'm afraid. That's all I can say. Hope Allah will always give me His guidance everytime and everywhere. Amin..
Deg! It was surprised, so bad surprised. I do remember more than a year ago when I joined the 3rd selection of AFS, Carlos' father was sick. And several moths after that, there were news that Carlos' father got sick again and again. We helped him through his hard times. And now, when he is in USA, there was a news that his father has passed away. I was speechless at first, I didn't know what to say, I can't imagine how Carlos feels there. He can't go back to Indonesia now of course. I was afraid, afraid of lossing my parents later. Afraid I can't accompany my parents to their last place in this world. Astagfirullah..
I thought it was a warning from Allah for me. Last time I wanted to continue my education to NTU Singapore, or if I can't pass the entrance exam, I wanted to take FTTM ITB, whereas my parents didn't 100% support me. I didn.t think how I live there, how my parents' condition in Pasuruan when I'm there, my financial there, my worship and also my assosiation especially. I was so selfish that I didn't think all of that. Until my elder uncle visited my house several weeks ago. He advised me about everything. One of his words I do still really remember is "Kamu berdosa kalau membuat orang tuamu gelisah" ("You get sin when you make your parents anxious of you"). It was like there was something stop my heart for a second at that time. I can't say anything else about it, cause you must be known what I felt at that time, right?
Well, I tried to think and think again about my next education then. So hard you know. when I looked for another alternatives of university and faculty, most of them weren't permitted by my parents. My father ever laughed at 2 of my choice that I wasn't proper to enter it. Huft, till more than a week ago I felt like I was in my 'lowest point'. Yeah, I felt like a person who didn't have passion in her life, lost my spirits, ah so it was like 'mati rasa'. But fortunatelly I have a lot of friends that were still care about me. They supported me to come back to my 'normal life', gave suggestion about faculties that maybe proper with me. And Alhamdulillah, I felt better after that. I had 2 faculties alternatives. But still my first choice was FTTM ITB.
And until 2 days ago I got news about 'that', I don't know it was a warning from Allah to me to have my next education just in Surabaya, or it was just my feeling. Cause if I still choose ITB, I'm afraid I will have similiar experience with Carlos, I'm afraid I will more concern my education rather than my parents. I'm afraid, yeah I'm afraid. That's all I can say. Hope Allah will always give me His guidance everytime and everywhere. Amin..
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